good book...bad book????

i just finished reading this book "a fine balance" by rohinton mistry. first book of his i read. it came highly recommended to me and also had the stamp of "oprah's book club" which sold me. it a 752 page marathon book. it starts off realy well. i liked his writing, and the first 150 pages or so went real fast. then the whole thing got tedious. i read atleast 5 other books from the time i started it to the time i finished it. my god!!! does it drag or what, and so repetitive and damn, it's never ending. i almost abandoned it in the middle but decided, what the hell, i may as well finish it!!! i dont remember any one single story with so much suffering, and believe me, only suffering.very rarely you see a ray of hope shining thro'.

i don't know whether to call it realistic, cos it is actually pretty close to how people live in india, but at times it got too hmm....too realistic maybe.and at times very gory and explicit. maybe i just like to continue living in my fantasy and not think about such things as caste, the trials and tribulations of being a widow without much money or the guy from the mountains who knows nothing apart from that. the characters in the book have been put down so well, like theis guy rajaram, who is a hair-collector(i din't know such professions existed :)), or there is shankar, who is a limbless beggar, or beggarmaster, who owns all the beggars in the area and walks around with a briefcase full of coins chained to his wrist, and monkey-man and his monkies laila and majnu and dog tikka.ofcourse these and some other small tidbits now and then bring a smile your face, but through most of it i had a grimace.

well, i ain't saying it's no good, i just haven't been able to make up my mind about.

i wanna say this though, if any of u out there wanna read it, sure go ahead....especially if u have loads of time on your hands ;)

**i hope in writing this(i'd like to say critic, but i guess it would be pushing it too far;))so, i shall stick to 'my view', i din't hurt anybody's feelings if they felt differently....

sundays???what are those???

come september and my sundays have vanished!!! friends had warned me about this and i had snootily said"i can deal with it" or "i will learn to like it". but that fateful day arrived and i have to say it just left me with a bad headache and a sore mood!! and i thought it was only a sunday exercise, oh no, there i was mistaken. they have one every monday night as well.... i am sure many of the wives/girlfriends/moms (basically most women) will sympathise with me and hate their sundays from sept to february too.....most of u might have guessed, and guessed right, FOOTBALL.

















that violent game, where one guy is ready to kill another or if not
completely maul him(like the recent pitbull maulings of people), atleast make sure he goes home with one broken bone, u know just for memories :) and this my dear readers, i am subjected to every sunday. and it's soooo loud i wish i were deaf!! i have a deal with R, he can either watch the morning game or the afternoon one :) and i am such a sucker, seeing the intense concentration on his face, the reactions to things happening on the field, so animated, so child like, i am sure i will let him watch both games if he begs a little ;) so, my only hope is if he will stick to our deal.

it's not that complicated to understand, but I just don't get the essence of a guy trying to make a touchdown, fighting and waving like a raging bull to make it, and my god are these guys huge. they are called the 300 pounder or 340 pounder, like as if it is a 3 lb burger from big mac they are talking about!! and for this they get paid like millions of dollars!!! if i don't soon learn to appreciate the game(which i very much doubt i will) i'll have to find something to do out of the house between 9-12 and 1-4 plus the overtimes. guess i'll just be visitor on sunday evenings!!!! ;);)

Age no bar....

today, i felt good. i felt young at heart, mind, body, soul, fitness..... ask me why??? well, i am not sure it's anything to brag about except for the fact that somebody thought i was just 23yrs compared to my much older age ;)(ofcourse i was in a room full of over 55 ladies) but that always always feels good right?right?anyway,this is what happened....
i got up early this morning deciding to go and sign up for the 9:15am aerobics class. i needed a change from the everyday running and gymming. so this looked like a good class. it clearly said in the brochure that it was 'aerobics for all'. so i went. and what do i see? there was this nice hall filled with sweet old grandma looking ladies. they were standing around chatting, and then i entered. all of them looked at me like i was crazy coming there.the average age difference between the ladies in the room and me was atleast 50 years. one of them was 78years old,or wait, should i say young :). they were all so active, moving their legs, arms and tush as if there was no tomorrow. so smartly dressed, all of them in colourful tracks, shorts and tees.i actually felt frumpy in my all black, slimming, tracks and t shirt!!! i was like, what am i doing here? maybe i should walk across to the gym and do my usual drill. then i thought, oh what the hell, lemme finish this class. i ain't no quitter ;). so i stuck it out. and u know what? i really enjoyed meself. it was fun, these oldie-goldie, pish-posh ladies stole my heart. the way they were smiling and talking to me, the way they were working so hard to get their steps right, so particular about the correct foot going up, or kicking or whatever. on the whole i had quite a blast!!! and i think i just may go back for the next class on wednesday :) :0

my poor baby...aww....i din't mean to leave you :(

Hell!!am i allowed to swear? well it's my blog so, dang it!! oh, there i go again, but thats a new word i have added to my already colourful vocabulary of swear words :) and love using it at every opportunity i get. so anyway, before i got side tracked i was gonna say "hell!it's been so long since i wrote a post." Lets just say that the reason for neglecting my blog is my being extremely lazzzzz...y. i don't know, for a while i was just busy. i had just started school, getting used to the way studying is done here in the USA, getting used to marriage, being a nice wife;), cooking, cleaning etc etc and basically just enjoying ummm.....my marriage. so there started the neglect, and then it just became a habit. i used to open my blog to read stuff written by my fellow bloggers, but me write? i never even thought of it!! it felt like all those creative or not so creative, but juices are juices, just weren't flowing. now and then i would think that i should go home and write about this and that on my blog, but then come home and it's the same. Writer's block. That's what i call it.
yeniways, today i decided that i am not going to ignore my baby anymore. i shall write, yes, even if the juices are not flowing(like now) and torture my few readers into completly eliminating my blog from their blog rolls!!! So people, gear up and get ready, insanity is going to hit u soon!!!!! :) Have fun....

yipee, yipee ya ya.... i have been TagGed!!!!

i am so excited!! thanks dee for tagging me.this is the first time i have been tagged in my blogging life!! but the weird thing is, though i was so excited, it took me so many days to actually sit down and write this blog. i blame it totally on my supposed studying for my driving test, which i am so stressed about, more than for anyother test or exam in my life. i am like, a...isn't driving in india so much easier, some people don't even have to give a test to drive. ok ok, i can hear dee in my head, S stop digressing and do the above tag!! so i start to think, 9 things about meself, one of which is the untruth!! it's tougher than it sounds. howmuch ever i love talking about myself, i realise i actually may not be such a narcist. yipee!! so here goes

• i love life!! i like everything about it. the good times, not so good times, the blue skies, the rain, the sun, the people, food, the colours, the nicknacks, animals. the whole experience of life itself is great!! but oh, i forgot, i do so hate the cold, unless i am wearing a very nice flattering sweater ;)
• i can talk continuously without a stop. i can go on ya ya ya yakyakyak....on and on.i can crack loads of PJs and nothing better i like than people laughing at my jokes.
• i can read for hours at a time without a break. and my favourite reading place being the loo. i had a library in the loo back home. though i often wonder why, must be the peace, quiet and tranquility in there eh ;)
• there maybe very few things i like better than a game of tennis, a walk, a run along the beach or a trek or a good solid workout. the cool of the air hitting my face or the sweet sweaty feel after a run. these usually give me a high.
• i am a "bi"holic- 1. a chocoholic 2. a shoeoholic. i can eat howmuch ever chocolate, anytype, anyplace. and i don't mind if it's chocolate bar, cake, muffin, ice cream...anything! the other is shoes. love them too. i am attracted to them like a bee to honey!! oh god S, that sounds so corny.
• i am also "bi"phobic. 1.hydrophobic 2. cockroachophobia. though i know to swim i am petrified of water. i live in a fear of drowning or a tsunami striking. and the second one, i won't even start. i usually start hyperventilating if i see even a dead cockroach.
• i sing like an angel or so i have been told. if i listen to a song once it usually sticks in my head. i am usually found practising when the house is empty or in the bathroom.
• i enjoy driving!! i can drive for hours, alone too. i don't even mind driving in the b'lore rush hour traffic.
• i usually live in awe. i am mostly looking open mouthed at almost everything and anything. i am always surprised or often find myself shocked by most things and people around me.

there, i am done atlast. i wonder what took me so long. it was a poece of cake ;). let's see if anyone can figure out which is the big LIE!!!! well, i don't know too many bloggers to tag. so i shall leave it to whoever wants to do this tag..... Thanks!!

PasSion ;)

if anyone was to ask me "what are you most passionate about?" my answer, well would be to turn around, smile and say "why, shoes of course"!!!

i love shoes, sandals, slippers, flip-flops, espadrilles,strappy stuff, any whichever actually.... that's a fact and those who know me will vouch for it, and well, the people who have to live with this passion of mine,hmm... they usually go bang their heads against a wall when i go to buy a new pair. actually, it's not only buying, owning, wearing that i like so much. even just walking down a street, i will definately look at people's shoes. not just the women, i don't spare even men's shoes!!

i am like a magnet when it comes to shoes. i see a shoe store, a display in the window and i definately make a bee line for it. it's also a great pick-me-up. a little down, well, i just go to a mall and try on a few pairs and then am as happy as a lark :). i don't even have to buy to get a high!!

i am very fussy about the colour, the heel, the texture etc etc. i buy some pairs for comfort wear and some to wear once in a while, a few dressy and i even have a few which are like 'sit in the car, get out, sit on chair, and then get back in car and come home'.i won't even try to walk more than 2 steps with them on!!

i happened to tell my husband the other day that shoes are better than clothes. i prefer to get shoes than clothes!! and he gave me that weird look like"what am i married to?" i mean, he is used to my shoe obsession and also not used to it!!! does that make sense?? :)

for me, it's not the diamonds but the shoes which are my best friend !!! unless of course the diamonds are on the shoe!!!!!!!

ADDicteD......

people, i have officially been given the status of an Addict!!! :0

nope, it's not to grass, heroine, marijuana, alcohol, cigarettes etc. no, all these seem like lame addictions compared to the one i have developed. i have gotten "attached" is the word i should maybe use, to Craig's List!!! i know, everybody is going like ugh...craig's list!!!!but seriously, i sleep, eat, walk, talk and breathe it. i don't know what to do. the only help i got in the way of de-addiction is my husband saying "stop it, just shut the computer off". well that was a bit too mild maybe or just not very helpful. i am at it once he is outta the house :)

i think i need help!!!
but really, for those of you who haven't ventured into this website, you are missing something. go ahead, look around, get a feel of it, but don't get addicted to..........Craig's list!!!!

I just sat and watched "50 First Dates". That has got to be one of the cutest movies I have ever seen... lots of friends were telling me that this is a must see and now that I have, I agree!! I mean, I don't know how real it is, where one can find this awsome, awsome, cute guy, who will make you fall in love with him every single day.. isn't that what dreams/fantasies are made of??
but whatever, it is a total feel good, makes you happy, hope it was true kinda movie....
really enjoyed this one. definately a 1000 times better than Spiderman 3;)

the day that was....

today at last i have decided to sit and pen down things i wuld like to remember about my wedding!!! high time too, actually not, it's been just 14 days, 2 weeks to be precise!!! hmm.. i must remind R, i just might me able to get a 2 week anniversary present!! do u think that will work? i very much doubt it, lol ;)

*date:19 n 20 april, 2007
*place: bangalore
*was on the auspicious akshaya tritiya day. so mayb that will help eh?gud stars and all...
*the day arrived after 6 months of frenzy anticipation, tension, nerves, planning,work, and of course shopping till the last minute!!!i never thought that shopping could get to me!
*19th was pretty much fun in the morning, apart from an extremely nervous bride,from not finding my exact matching jewellry to fighting with my to be husband in a few hours!! so ok, it was not the most auspicious start.... then we had the good lunch with my fav bele holige, so that kinda made up for the weird morning!!
*things got bad with the rains in the evening, just in time for the arrival of the groom n family. i was not in the chatra so din't see all the drama unfold, but we had it all, people getting wet, stuck in the notorious b'lore traffic, the heavy rain, tree falling right in front of the chatra. i came back after resting the afternoon at a friends', to all this chaos. i was like, what the ....!!! but luckily all things went on better later in the evening and everyone settled down.
*oh i forgot, the funniest were the poojaries. the assistant who came in the mornin, he had such a monotonous tone, my sis n i kept having giggling bouts and got really dirty looks from my BIL!!
the best was the guy who came for the varapooje(the main, head poojari). well, he was really hilarious!!! he was like a spittle fountain. he was giving me this really nice, or rather a very interesting n informative lecture on all the ceremonies and their significance but made it humanly impossible for me to concentrate for long, cos man the rain was now inside.only, it wasn't harvestable rain water but rather loads of spittle!! he reminded me of Satish Shah in Main Hoon Na!!,ok, so he was oldish n wore dentures,but it was still quite miserable.i was sure i would have spittle stains on my silk sarees, cos they really did travel the distance!! :)anyway, will never forget this guy!!
*20th The D-day had arrived. i would like to remember myself as the demurely dressed bride. i think this was the most traditionally dressed me, ever!! with all appendages, false jadde, wrapped in mallige and kanakamra hua, a long bindi, mati on my head, bangles, i even wore anklets!!actually it was nice, that yellow-gold saree, the colour which made the silk look so rich(i believe people told my MIL, that my saree was too simple, and that i should have worn something much grander, ugghh...i don't even want to think of it:)).it was fun!!
*then the jeerge-bella ritual during anthrapata, i won hands down, so guess who is the boss in the marriage??? R will never agree that i won.... but really, who cares rite? ;) i do i do!!!!
*then was the dhare time. i had such mixed feelings. nobody cried in the family, except my sister had tears in her eyes(understandable,she was doing the kanya daana) n this real sweetheart,emotional cousin of mine!! but i guess i felt a twinge when i saw my sis n mom.
* the saptapadi, which is essentially the 7 vows of 'to love n cherish', kinda zipped by!! i only remember R trying to desperately twist the toe rings into place, n me directing him to turn it this way n that. at the end the ghee did the trick!!
*i remember this funny thing, we r supposed to be the shy bride who doesn't take her husband's name, so all these oldies around kept coming n asking me, and i had to blush n softly n slowly say his name!! i was so fed up with the whole drill. so when this older couple came n asked me this for the nth time, i lost it and thought, well time for some fun!! so i looked at R n very seriously said, "hmm... i seem to have forgotten, what was it again?" well, u should have seen the look on their faces...but worse than that were the looks i got "what's wrong with her" kinda looks!! but my wicked double had fun!! so it was ok i guess ;)
*some of the other rituals we had were fun too, don't remember the entire chain of events. oh, the gowri puja in the morning was ummm....what will be the word i would use i wonder? how abt if we say interesting. this was the first time i was doing it, n had no clue how o. bless my MIL, she patiently taught me the entire thing. the exchange of the 'maraas' and the other stuff. the worst part was when everybody left me in the room to continue the puja and pushed off for the all important kashi yaatre. i was told by at least 5 people not to talk, but to sit like a gud child and do the puja. now people who know me will vouch n bet that i did not keep mumm but rather went on chatting. well....they wouldn't be very far from the truth. it was tough ok, not to talk for like 15 mins, and my friends were tottering in one by one. common, i wanted to be a gud hostess at my wedding ;). i hope this din't affect the sanctity of my prayers, since i was praying that R would b a gud husband, and more importantly(acc. to Mr. poojari) would be faithful to me!!! lol...
*All this done, i was starving.... i had supposedly not eaten anything from the morning(except the idlis and halwa my mom had smuggled in for me in the wee hours, before the gowri pooja ;)), so lunch was welcome. it was time for the elaborate "bhoomada oota".there is this one huge plate made of a no. of banana leaves made for the bride n groom, silver plates, glasses....well lets say we were pampered. but that's not all. this is pretty silly actually, all these people sit around u, make u feed eachother, big huge chaklies and laddoos!!i don't from whr they get such thrills....but ofcourse R n I played our part to the hilt!smiled, blushed n said noooo at the right moments, so in the end it was fun!!!!!
*reception time, almost 3 hrs of nonstop, smiling, pictures and posing for the camera!! but u know what, i realised something,how much ever we crib, it's worth it!! all these people, some u don't know, others u know from sometime and still others who are an integral part of your life, take the time to come n wish u...and when that sinks in, u realise that it was a moment to be cherished... it's not that tough to get your smile going!!!
*the colours, rich and resplendent, all silks, i mean i can surely say we see this only in a south indian wedding, thanks to all the kaanchivaram sarees that every single lady dons and the men not left far behind in their silk dhothis n shalyas, or kurta-pyjamas. well, it was really awsome!!

at this point, i can remember only these few things, but surely these would be some of the moments i want to remember for the rest of my life!!!
and of course, one thing that stood out right through the two days was this wish n need that my father could have been there.... that was always at the back of my mind. but i do know that he was there in my heart and from somewhere up there he was watching and i had his blessings!!!
Love you Papa, miss u loads n loads....

Mother....

May 13th, 2007 is Mother's Day!! well, it's the day people take time out to thank their mom's for all that she has done for them in the past. but do u think it's fair that you have only that one day designated to thank them for all that they have given you? according to me(ok i know, who is asking me:)) but i would still like to add my 2 cents, as in everything), mom's should be thanked every single day, every day should be their day!! i am sure loads of people out there will agree with me....

this is the first year that i am not with my mom on mother's day. usually, we both go out to lunch, i make tea for her in the mornin, try not to argue with her, cos it's her day!! when i landed in the US the other day, i was like "i am not even missing home". but the reaction set in yesterday. and the first thing i wanted to do was pick up the phone and talk to Ma...and was i glad to hear her voice. like she says, one of these days i am gonna feel so homesick, that i am gonna sit and cry myself dry, and screech "i want my ma ma". R has been so proud of me for not crying all these days, i wonder what he'll do when this happens.lol, waiting to see (sadist that i am :)). anyways, getting back to mom, she has been my support, my backbone these past few years after my dad passed on. i really don't know how i would have coped without her. sure we have our issues, but we usually work around them... to me, Ma has been a friend, my dad, my sister, my ally, my confidante, my pal, my sooo many things(if that makes sense, lol) and ofcourse my Mom and i sure know am going to miss her oodles and oodles.

recently, the day before my wedding, i had a massive fight with her. i said some hurtful things,which i shouldn't have. it hurt her really bad. it was put down to all the tension and nerves flying around. well ma, if u r reading this post, it was just that and nothing else. i didn't mean what i said....i love you lots and lots and am soooo missing you!!

here's to my mom, my friend.....

have a wonderful "Mother's Year" ahead ma....muah:)

we all tend to regret things we have done/said....

while surfing i found this image posted by someone on photobucket. i think it says a lot.... read it, take a minute to think and you'll know what i am talking about!!!

am i weird, or am i weirrddddd....

is there anyone around here who din't cry during their wedding. not one goddamn tear!! ok thats pardonable S, cos u can just say that everything happenend sooo fast, din't have time to even think, forget getting my lacrimal glands to work.....
but what really took the cake n d icing n d lil cherry too was that the glands din't work when i left india either!! i had pictured myself boohooing, and bawling and that the lacrimal fluid would be pouring out, and my husband would need buckets so that the unorganized and chaotic b'lore airport din't get flooded!! but but not one tear, not a drop!! i couldn't believe myself. i kept asking R "do u think i am weird?" one minute i was hugging everybody at the airport and the next pushing my luggage trolley in the rush, i just looked back and told ma that i had left some inconsequential stuff, and to send it with my uncle and the next minute i had turned and gone, hoping that none of my stuff would get thrown out of my suitcase!!!
and then i got to San Diego, and friend's were asking if i cried? and i was feeling really upset to say that i din't!!!
weirdo!!! that's what u r S!!! but i forgive u, mayb jus mayb cos i am sure of delayed reaction setting in soon......

it's been so long since i wrote anything, i had even forgotten my login!!! well thats cos i hav just been real busy, doing... well, absolutely nothing.

ever since i resigned from work, i have been just sitting around, listening to music, reading, watching loads of movies on TV. i mean i actually sat thro' an entire emraan hashmi starrer!!!hard to beat eh? and the dumbest thing, i found myself recommending this movie to my cousin. he gave a snort of laughter and told me to get a life. you see, for him(actually mayb everybody ;0)emraan hasmi = himesh reshammiyya :)!!!
though i rather like the shopping bouts between all this, and i don't even feel guilty! it's like this, i am getting married in 2 weeks time, so shopping is legitimate, right? even mom is not questioning my silly shopping sprees. ofcourse she keeps an eagle eye when i veer towards the bigger stuff!! though i have been warned by ma and my fiance,NO MORE SHOES!!!well thats sad, really :( i am from the school of thought that u can never have enough of them, u can be without clothes, but shoes??? nah... they will only complement the naked look ;) ok ok just kidding, or else my fiance may just start questioning my intentions!!

well, what do i say, never thought i would say this, but life without work sure is boring! and the grass is always greener on the other side!!
the worst part is, it's not the happening thing to go out in the sun too much, to just loaf around, they(read ma and aunt) would prefer if i don't drive, well maybe walk too. and the clever excuse is, u r the bride, u will get tanned, u will get and look tired. i mean what am i supposed to do!! shifting my butt from one sofa to the next all day is not much fun, and what with all the good food and jalebis, am not sure butt will fit on the sofa soon!!! then what am i going to do....
well thats a bone i am going to wrangle with for the next 2 weeks, so can't do much eh? will be stuck at home and watch more TV i guess....
Jay! Emraan Hashmi and double Jay Hallmark n HBO n Zee Studio n all the rest of the channels,not to forget Ftv!!! :)

Am on a roll people :)

“Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.”
-John Mayer Quotes


“I am getting nowhere with you and I can't let you go and I cant get through.”
- Ani Difranco

“I love you smile at me, I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near....I believe this is heaven to no one else but me.”
- Sarah McLachlan

“Don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give you answers that you want me to.”
-Unknown

during one of my random, clueless searches on google, i came across this quote and found it funny!! and i sometimes feel like i know who exactly that Jerk is :) :)


"Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it"

- Unknown

As tomorrow is my last day at work, I am busy deleting all the crazy and not so crazy stuff I have collected on my desktop!! Yes, even all the groovy George Clooney and Hugh Jackman pictures!! It's like if I can't see and enjoy, then no one else should!!! Perverse pleasure....:):)

Anyway, as I was sorting thro' this mess, I came across this lil poem from www.storybin.com....it's called "A Life Poem".... Enjoy!!!!

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind...
Life can be blissful and happy and free...
Life can put beauty in the things that you see...
Life can place challenges right at your feet...
Life can make good of the hardships we meet...
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin...
Life can reward those determined to win...
Life can be hurtful and not always fair...
Life can surround you with people who care...
Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs...
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns...
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad...
Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

gorgeous grand graceful glittering glorious.......

Oh wow!! what a super super weekend!!! Was in Goa with these three really fundu, sweet happy, happening girls :). Together, we roamed the streets and beaches of Goa, in a state of perpetual excitement.This was a long awaited holiday, which we have been planning for eons n eons!! Have not seen a place which is more filled and overflowing with life, colour and culture all packed into one goody bag called Goa!!
Always wanted to do the Goa thingy with friends. The last time i went was with family, where we stayed in this nice resort tucked away in a corner of the state and stayed there in oblivion for some 3 days.... it was nice, after all my grandma's big 80, so considering that, it was a restful, relaxing 3 days!!
This time, well it was something else!!It sure was relaxing and restful but at the same time it was exciting!! I had always heard about Baga Beach, Anjuna, Candolim, this time I actually lived it!! I had heard about the shacks, this time I saw them!The place is always pulsating with life!!!
Every place we visited was different, be it the Terekol fort, or the fountainhans(hope i spelt it right!), or that quiant lil portugese resturant right opposite our place(oh and the owner was darling :)),or Tito's, man that place is a landmark in the state!!Never seen no nite club soo advertised in B'lore!!I was thinking we shld send our dear
Mr. Kumaraswamy to show him what we should do to B'lore. He seriously is curbing our partying spirits, which is a serious crime Mr. Chief Minister!!!Will consider writing a letter to him on the same;)
The place seems so safe, do what u want, when u want kinda thingy. The only time u get really irked by the laid back attitude is at Breakfast, when u have stayed out late, gotten up even later and you are ravenous, these people donot give u your order for at least 45 mins. can u believe that, 45 mins to get an egg and toast!!!
But the rest of the time is something else, u like the place for its easy, no one is in a hurry,do what u want attitude. Man! u cAn get away with murder and no one would know ;)where else could us heavy weights wear a backless top or even just a spagetti top and get away with it!!certainly not here...
the bestest part(for a person like me, who loves driving) are the roads.People of b'lore, we don't know what roads are!!The roads in Goa are awsome,smooth as a baby's bottom is the first thing that came to my mind, hehehee..but really i loved the driving!!poor V asked me several times if she could drive, but i was like "no, it's ok, i am not tired". the truth, i knew in B'lore i wouldn't be able to drive so aaraamse, with my mind wandering happily, nobody blaring their horns in my ear, hmmm... such bliss!!oh ya, i loved the Rumblers too..
so all in all, people, Goa Rocks!!!can do this again and again, and will never tire of it!!

BitterSweeT GooDbYes......

As my wedding is on the 20th of April,after which i will be going away to another place, another time, leaving my mom behind, i decided to resign from work a bit earlier than planned and spend some time with her. Having been with this company for only about a year, I din't think I would feel so bad about it!! It seemed like, wow, will resign and sit at home for a while, enjoy with ma, shop, eat and generally be merry.

Recently though, along with all the gamut of weird emotions i have been going thro', a new one has suddenly crept up. I am feeling really sad about leaving work. The day before I was supposed to give my letter, I was talking to my fiance about it, and he was generally asking me if I was feeling bad about leaving, and if I was feeling distress at the thought of having to leave etc. At that time, I just laughed it off saying"oh!paleese, I am so glad I am getting outta here" kinda attitude.But surprise, surprise!! am feeling really awful that I am leaving!I never ever thought I would feel like this.....
but am sure gonna miss it all.
The fights and arguments with my fellow cabbies, the loud music in the morning on the way to work, the silly jokes, the laughing and chattering about the whole day in the evenings!!And then the colleagues in the office and esp. my group!
Dr.Sendil, sitting and sleeping in his chair,looking as if he is working(believe me he even manages to move the mouse:)),his love of guitars, his loud booming laugh and his awsome awsome drawings, and not to forget his obsession with super heroes. He has promised to make my caricature before I leave and I will make sure he does.And he just told me today that he thinks he is a 'floor workout kinda guy' :)!!ROTFWLOL
Prashanth, this slip of a guy, not more than 5"3', thinks the world needs to bow to him!But a very sweet know-it-all!!He is the only guy I know who loves flowers and that is usually his desktop wallpaper, uses the word "whatever" more than I do,very friendly too.A lil lazy but common, who isn't rite? He and I usually have these longish conversations on gymming(which I do regularly and he is regularly irregular at it!),and every morning discussion recently has been on Big Boss!The only person other than me who i know was addicted to the show:).Will always remember him,helped me alot during my initial stages in the company and I will always remember that I did my first monitoring visit with him!!!
Then there is dear old Subhash, one sweet man. We fondly call him chachu!!And sometimes chuglee chachu as he is the private eye for our boss!! With a conservative outlook, and crazy about his 'missus'(thats what he still calls his wife!), and we all always smile. He is mostly shouting at somebody or the other on the phone, in that weird hoarse+girlish voice of his, and always making us take stuff to sites in order to save money for the company(which is completely opposite to our motto).He hates the fact that being a brahmin I eat non-vegetarian!!And keeps warning me not to go trekking ever since some guys who did go, had gotten lost in the forests never to return!!Can never forget his possessiveness about the randomization either!!Memories of him will always make me smile, oh ya, and how he can't really hear much, I have to literally shake his chair to get him to realise I am talking to him!!
Bindhya Cariappa aka BC, as we call her. Our boss!very smart, young,sauve,diplomat to the core. Wanting to please all.She is truly a madam know it all, I know best!!Me thinks she was born with the phone to her ear!!But she has her pluses too.Very nice and friendly,i mean I know after working for her it will be very tough to work for someone else, she has actually spoilt us. Always remembers b'days, and remembers to gift us something. Wears very smart pretty jewellery(except for that one very vile, yellow ear ring)which Dee and I keep eyeing!!And just like the typical boss, shoves us to the forefront in stick situations!!
And last but not the least, there is Deepti!!A fellow dentist like me,in her I have found a friend!!And hope to be that way forever. we spend our day together,come and go together, sit next to each other,go out to gether.We are the butt of many jokes for this reason. She is actually called my 'better half' :)!!!But I totally adore her, with her open laughter, her smile at all times, she is usually bubbling with energy, her frank opinions, and she talks faster than the concorde, continuously and more than anyone I know!!I will totally miss our afternoon walks, our once a month fries eating and our extended hours of coffee breaks, our travels together on monitoring, man that was fun!!will miss u gal!
I will also not forget our days at the KCA building with this group, so much more fun than vasanthnagar!!
And then there are these other people, co workers, call them whatever, nice people they are!Like usha with the hawkish eye, who will comment every single day on what I wear!!Then megha, with her really 'lakshana makha' and her nice good morning.Tintu, who will always speak to me in malyalam and smile, kalyani, aksha, catherine.Oh ya and there is jibu, who is real weird with his silly sense of humour, but I always smile at his PJs.and Mr. Chakrapani, this sweet elderly guy, who was sometime in Russia and so always starts by saying "in russia.....", but a very nice man who always has a smile on his face.....God!!am gonna miss all these people!!even Mr.Krishnamurthy, with his discoloured front tooth(once a dentist...),and rude kamal in the other dept., scary sanil,and the oh so haughty bharathi, the guy with the colourful ties, and last but not the least 'yama' aka manish nanoo,our systems guy(very weird this one, i tell u) and lots of others!!
God! have just about 3 weeks to go, and then am done here. There will be relief, sadness, regret, happiness, joy etc. a whole array of emotions!!!!
But, what has to happen will happen, I guess!!!

Pride and Prejudice By Jane Austen- One of my favourite books/movies(the BBC version with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy :)).Have read it so many times, parts of it, the whole thing, and am pretty sure i will do so many more times.Here are a few quotes from the book which i like to keep reading:

"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

"Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."

"I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine."

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment."

"It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us."

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great. One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog... And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes. Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”
Unknown source

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
Sydney Smith

I often wonder whether regret is good or bad. I think and many times find myself advising people that “whatever happens, happens for the best". But is that really true? Do things really improve? Do you eventually get
- What u want?
- Where u want to be?
- What u always thought u should be and do?
Well, I find myself thinking more and more these days that "no, u thought absolutely wrong"!! Well, some things that happen do happen for the best, but (n there is always a but) there is always, always a question which follows - what if that didn’t happen? What if things had been different? What if I had done this instead of what I did? Important questions which do not always have answers!!That’s the saddest part of it all. Maybe if answers were there for me to see, it would've been better. Am not saying I would have not regretted stuff, but maybe, just maybe things would've seemed a lil brighter!!!
I always had this wish list in my mind, which I didn’t dare put down in writing lest things don't come true! But thinking back I realize I haven't achieved/got even a third of it, that is got to be the lowest low...I have always worked hard, did what was needed along the way, but just those few decisions that went the wrong way has changed the course of my life. Is that the road my life was destined to take? That is one big monster question that I am scared even to contemplate! It’s just too huge! Don’t even want to go there!! But these days, I seem to be taking little baby steps into that world, and trying to think things through. I was hoping I will be able to get some answers but I don't think that’s happening yet, have a long way to go (miles to go...)I am still in the” why did it have to happen to me" stage.
I am hoping that the steps I take and the decisions I make in the future will be better and not ones I will regret to add to my cup of woes!! Hmm….. maybe that should be my new year goal/resolution(don’t add to the crap already happening in life, try to make it better and no more crappy(read wasteful) decisions, or maybe it should read, plainly and simply, that I need to take responsibility for my actions and face up to them)
Wow! That was a lot of venting out!!
Hey 2007!!!!Just the antidote I need!! I desperately hope so……

Most of the things we decide are not what we know to be the best. We say yes, merely because we are driven into a corner and must say something."
-Frank Crane

Whenever I make a bum decision, I go out and make another one.
-Harry S Truman

temporary handicap????

i had this real bad fall on sunday morning, right there on the middle of the road. Lying sprawled out on my ass,the result of thoughts wandering and not seeing where i was going, i was thinking of what the world has come to, no passers stopping to help a poor damsel in distress. and distress it sure was. i had twisted my ankle.
Limping back home i thought ma would molly-coodle me and show some sympathy,well i was wrong!!all i got at first was "u have to pay attention when u r walking" kinda lecture. but then later she was really sweet, these moms i tell u, they first put across their point and then get on the right track(i mean our track!).
but man,what with not being able to walk and my action packed plans for spending the sunday all gone down the drain, i was so bored!!
the pessimist in me was in its element. first i had a sprain, then a fracture and then thoughts of what if i can never again walk, what if i can't run anymore, no gym, and the result of all this.... a big fat ass!!! OMG! what was i gonna do?
well, as i knew, it was actually nothing. i started hobbling around by the evening and am at work today!!!limping a lil, but still ready to go to a sale at the end of the day!Retail therapy u know....:)

song: Na jaane kyon....
movie "chotee si baat" by Lata Mangeshkar


Na jaane kyon, hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath
achanak ye man
kisi ke jaane ke baad, kare phir usiki yaad
chhoti chhoti si baat, na jaane kyon

vo anjaan pal
Dhal gaye kal, aaj vo
rang badal badal, man ko machal machal
rahen, na chal na jaane kyon, vo anjaan pal
tere bina mere nainon me
Toote re haay re sapanon ke mahal
na jaane kyon, hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath ...

vahi hai dagar
vahi hai safar, hai nahin
saath mere magar, ab mera hamsafar
dhoonde nazar na jaane kyon, vahi hai dagar
kahaa gaeen shamen madabhari
vo mere, mere vo din gaye kidhar
na jaane kyon, hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath ...

childhood lessons....

These are some of the things that my parents made sure i knew and learnt(of course apart from the maths and physics). Even now am sure my mom and dad(the brightest shining star in the sky, guiding me)are watching and make sure I follow these rules, as I call it.It was never forced on me, but they do say that watching and learning is the best way!!Most of it i just picked up from them....
So this is for u guys, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I AM WHAT I AM BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS!!!
- to take my responsibilities seriously, however small it maybe
- to be happy with whatever u have cos many people have a lot less
- stick to your limits
- always feel u r the luckiest person, then u'll never want for more
- be able to stand on your own two feet
- be a giving, kind soul
- don't be selfish, greedy and unhappy
- don't be too materialistic and always want for more(am still trying to master this, it will b real long before i can do so:( )
- to accept life as it is, cos it can't be changed too much!
- to love all the people around you, atleast try not to hate them too much(believe me with some people it's a huge task!)
- to forgive yourself for mistakes made, u always always have a second chance
- forgive others, it makes u a better person
- work for what u want,there is a sweet satisfaction in that!!and i have found out it's really true!
- never take things/people for granted
- always have respect for people older/younger to u(very cliche, but really needed)/friends/peers/collegues/everybody
- stick to your principles, it will help u eventually, even if u get kicked in the butt a few times...
- start ur day with a good morning to ur loved ones n end it with a good night
- love people to be loved
- compromises need to be made if u wanna b happy
- education comes in all forms, not only from books
- be self sufficient
- never bend the rules, use the straight path to success
- success is not all about money, there is a lot more to life;)
- never have regrets, or atleast never let them rule your life;that's what ma told me just the other day when i cribbing to her...

These are a few of them which i remembered, the rest are there at the back of my mind, stored in some lil corner which i will fish out one fine day, am sure...:)

LOVE U MA AND PAPA, ALWAYS...

warning!only for those in a mushy, inane mood with nothing else to do....

The quotes down below are a result of google search in the time of total boredom and not at all wanting to work!!
it's only for those in a totally romantic, mushy mood;some of them are cute, some the feel good kind, some downright corny, some lovable, and some which just wanna make u say aah...(n get that dreamy look in ure eyes)Here goes....

"Just because I love you doesn't mean I have to like you right now."
- "How to Loose a Guy In ten Days"

"Why do you want to marry me?"
"So I can kiss you anytime I want!"
- "Sweet Home Alabama"

"You are the only person that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time."
- "The Hot Chick"

"When you love someone, you say it right then, right there otherwise, the moment just passes you by."
- "My Best Friend's Wedding"

"Somewhere out there is the man you're supposed to marry and if you don't get him first, somebody else will...and then, you'll have to spend the rest of your life thinking that somebody else is married to your husband."
- "When Harry Met Sally"

"I would rather have three minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
- "Steel Magnolias"

"Love is like the wind.. You can't see it, but you can feel it."
- "A Walk to Remember"

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
- "When Harry Met Sally"

"A name makes no matter to me, as long as I can call you my own."
- "A Knight's Tale"

"I guarantee there’ll be tough times; I guarantee that at some point, one, or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing; But I also guarantee, that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life... because I know in my heart, that you’re the only one for me."
- "Runaway Bride"

"I’ve kissed a guy... I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing.... That thing... that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time."
- "Never Been Kissed"

"Truth is, I gave my heart away along time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back."
- "Sweet Home Alabama"

"It doesn't matter who, when, or where... you can always use a hug."
- "Hope Floats"

"I think I would miss you even if I'd never met you."
- "The Wedding Date"

"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight."
- "That Thing you Do"

"If your not willing to sound stupid, you're not worthy of falling in love."
- "A Lot Like Love"

"Some of the best things in life are total mistakes."
- "Paycheck"

I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
-When Harry Met Sally


Don't forget. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy...asking him to love her."
--Notting Hill

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
--Ten Things I Hate About You"

School is still the same.. there's still that one guy that you get up and go to school for in the morning. The one with the mysterious confidence that every girl falls for. Those years of school wouldn't have been the same without him. I wouldn't have been the same without him
- Never Been kissed

"I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all... I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm with you."
-Dirty Dancing

Sometimes i wish that i had never met you, so i could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.
- Good Will Hunting

i didnt come back to tell you that i cant live without you.
i can live without you.
i just dont want to.
- rumour has it

You want a man who will lead you down the beach with his hand over your eyes just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet. You want a guy that will wake you up ay dawn just bursting to talk to you. Can't wait another minute to just to find out what you'll say. Am I right?
- Runaway Bride

Love means never having to say you're sorry.
- Ali McGraw in Love Story

You...complete me.
- Jerry Maguire

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
- Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind